Chess nuts…

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day’s competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk [...]

Cracker Joke!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy

Santa’s Favorite Pizza…

What is Santa’s favorite pizza?
One that is deep pan, crisp and even.

Christmas Carols For The Disturbed

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town [...]

Christmas Bonus

Three dustmen are doing their last round before Christmas. The first goes to a house, knocks and finds himself being invited in by a stunning blonde, who takes him upstairs and gives him a good seeing to.
Afterwards, he rushes out and brags to his two pals about it. So the second
decides to try his luck. [...]

Quick Thinking…

Three guys kick the bucket on Christmas Eve and ascend to heaven where they are met by St. Peter. “In honor of the season”, St. Peter says to them, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas.”
The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out two lighters. He holds them up proudly and flicks [...]

Ho Ho Ho!

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
 

Snowmen

Two snowmen chatting, one says to the other…
“Can you smell carrots?”

Last Minute Christmas Shopping

 Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. [...]

Star Wars Christmas

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats… light sabers drawn and sparks flying.
Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said, “Ohhh, yes! I know!”
Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform just [...]